Sexual stereotypes abound in the world. We don't necessarilyobsess about them but we 
certainly recognize offensive sexual stereotyping when we encounter it in the movies, 
in song, or in literature. For example, elderly people are not supposed to ENJOY sex 
anymore or to even seek it out. We don't really know why this is so, but in many cultures 
the idea of elderly people getting some action is regarded as disgusting and indecent.
Too often in the movies we see that the old man or the matronlywoman who expresses 
strong sexual desire is regarded as a fool, or worse even, as some kind of depraved pervert 
to be avoided.

We didn't know that human sexuality came with an expiration date. 

Sexual bias against the elderly only scratches the surface.Another common sexual 
stereotype is that of the athletic African-American male who is supposed by virtue 
of genetics to be well-endowed and aggressive in bed. The well-mannered white male is 
supposed to be the opposite of this standard.

Who among us hasn't encountered the offensive stereotypical representation of the sweet,
submissive, and obedient Asian female. As a juxtaposition to supposed Asian female
submissiveness, Latinas are often typecast as hot-blooded and tempermental, and
excessively demanding of sexual gratification once bedded.

The above are all offensive sterotypes and are not true. Human beings regardless of race 
and cultural backgroud are unique as individuals. Outward physical appearance and 
behavior inpublic often have nothing to do with the qualities a person may exhibit on the 
other side of a closed bedroom door.

As disturbing as the sexual stereotypes we encounter in the world, sexual fetishes are often 
tied into our "perception"of others. Unfortunately our "perception" of others is often
programmed into us by our choice in the movies we see, the music we listen to, or the 
books we read. In other words, there may be deep-seated psychological reasons why 
certain things are more sexually stimulating than others, and these desires may be directly
linked back to stereotypes that were based upon race, gender, and culture.

A sexual fetish is a deep attraction or desire that is based upon physical qualities and/or
behavior. As brief examples some men find women with large round breasts irresistible.
Other men may focus upon the smooth curvature of a woman's legs or even her hair color.
A person is described as having a "fetish" if these desires are intensely sexual and strong.

A sexual fetish can also be based upon behavior as opposed to physical appearance. Some 
men prefer women who dress in very revealing clothes [slutty] that may be regarded as 
entirely inappropriate. Other men desire the business-woman type. Females can be just 
as attracted to shy sensitive men who may be in need of a nuturing female to rescue them, 
as to the agressive alpha male who takes what he wants in life.

On the relationship scene some individuals may seek out only those individuals who in 
some manner satisfy a sexual fetish, while other individuals fall in love with the entire 
person and it doesn't matter at all if the person satisfies some kind of specific sexual interest.

There is nothing at all wrong with having a sexual fetish. All human beings have sexual 
fetishes of one kind or another even if they are not consciously aware of them. And there 
are dozens more than we've mentioned here. We as human beings are not really in control 
of what we may find to be sexually stimulating. 

However there is a point where sexual fetishes and sexual stereotypes converge that may 
always remain in some manner disturbing. As an example, a man may have a deep-seated
sexual fetish for Asian women that is in fact tied into his desire to have a sexual partner 
who is obedient and willing. 

He unknowingly projects what is in fact his own personal prejudice upon all Asian women! 
His lusting for Asian women is entirely based upon an ugly racial stereotype about Asian
female submissiveness that through his own life experiences he has somehow internalized.

Is this evil?

Not necessarily. Bearing in mind the man's fetish for Asian women - even if based upon an
unfortunate racial stereotype- if he treats the Asian women he counters in life with kindness
and respect, then he is only guilty of being human.

Many of us as individuals are attracted to others first because of their appearance and/or
behavior. Breaking a cultural taboo can sometimes only heighten the attraction. This we feel 
is still operative in many instances of African-American men with white women...enter 
some internet chat rooms and you will see what we mean. There seems to be an inordinate
number of internet chat rooms that involve sexual interplay between black men and white
women. 

This most often involves the acquisition and sexual dominance of these white women by African-American males.

But in truth the internet is not real life. Many interracial couples of whatever mix have 
wholesome romantic relationships that are not at all similar to the cheesy behavior 
observed on the world wide web.
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In Conclusion:
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It  is often unavoidable that the sexual fetishes a person develops over a lifetime may in 
part have been inspired by his/her exposure to offensive sexual stereotypes. The key 
is to be honest and open with your partner as to what you find in them that is most
attractive and never forget to treat them with the respect that they deserve.

Be extremely careful that your sexual fetish doen't blindly lead you into a prejudice that
encompasses entire classes of people. Don't get hung up on words and meanings,
either. And don't overanalyze the "kink" that turns you on. Involve yourself in those sexual
behaviors that are personally fullfilling and refrain from feeling ashamed of your choices 
in bed just as long as what you do is safe, legal, and respectful of the humanity of others. 

Sex is meant to be enjoyed and shouldn't involve some kind of psychological 
obstacle course.

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